Mind the cracks....

crrrrrracccccck :-/

....noooooo 'mini-melts' are not sweets, or maybe they are but that's not what I'm talking about.

This whole new venture of mine finally caught up with me last week.  The 3 days of college, the studying, a particularly difficult task I had to hand up, finding time for actual training and time for close and extended family, looming exams and 'worrying' if it will all be worth it....I cracked!

I was uncharacteristically quiet, often moody, prone to bouts of sobbing, snapping at people who didn't deserve it and just basically drained.

The final straw came for me in college on Saturday morning when I performed particularly poorly at a resistance training assessment and got very disappointing feedback.  I'm not ashamed to say that when I received my feedback and everyone had gone, I scurried to the toilets, locked myself in a cubicle and sobbed quietly (for about the third time that week).  After a little while I composed myself, put on my shades to cover my pink eyes and for the first time since starting my course, lunched alone.  I couldn't face any of my buddies...I couldn't face anyone, I needed to be alone to wallow.  On the plus side, my Exercise to Music assessment in the afternoon was spot-on and I got very good feedback from the Tutor and my buddies :)  Taking the rough with the smooth ey...

D took one look at me when I came home and knew there was something amiss.  When he asked and put his arms out, my chin wobbled like a childs and told him all as I sobbed into his chest for a few minutes.  I just needed to get the 'crap' of the whole week out and out for good.  Anyhow, if we are to succeed we need to turn every negative into a positive.  I now know where my weaknesses are and what I need to work and improve upon.

On the positive side once again, we had our Fitness Assessment last week and physically I'm in super shape.  The only time I was possibly fitter was when I was 26 years old, the year before I had Emma. 

For a female in my age bracket, my results were way above average and I bench-pressed (chest) my 1RM strength (max weight lifted once) of 45kg..chuffed :)

My vital statistics are 38", 30", 34" (38" but mostly back not boob :(..)  My BMI is 24 and my body fat is 25%.  I am above average for back strength (almost doubling the female average), above average for push-ups, abdominal strength, grip strength and sit 'n reach (flexibility).  Not bad for a 'mad aul wan' as Emma affectionately calls me!

'Mad aul wan' at work :))